Life.

Today was a good day. Instead of spending the whole day with just my mother, my older brother came along. I haven't seen much of my brother this summer. He lives with our father, who I am no longer in contact with, and he started seeing a girl from school, so he has less time on his hands to visit than past summers. My brother and I stopped living together over four years ago. I feel like I know him less every time I see him. A problem we've had our entire lives is not seeing eye-to-eye. Our priorities, sense of humor, and outlook on life are very different. He's always lived behind a veil and once in a great while I get to see beneath it, see the part of my brother I love, but most of the time my image of him is only growing dimmer. Someday I fear I won't know him at all. I know I won't. He told me once how he lost his family too early in his life and he couldn't wait to get married and finally have a real family again. Apparently I'm not enough to constitute family. For me, today was good because I spent it with my family. I'm not sure it meant anything to him. At moments like these, life seems so cruel. Too many times has my brother complained to me about how awful his life is; how hard everything is for him. Someday I want to ask him when it's my turn. When do I get to complain to him and ask him for advice? When do I get to be the little sister whose older brother takes care of her?

I saw the movie "My Sisters Keeper" tonight and it was really sad. I basically cried throughout the movie. I was emotionally exhausted before it ended. I heard the book is better but I can't read the book now. It's just too sad. I did read the first chapter of it once though and Cameron Diaz did not fit the description of the mother, in my opinion. She should stick on comedies because the "mom" roll doesn't suit her. If you rent it I recommend a box of tissues, because it's so sad. The movie really makes you appreciate life and love though.

I'm going to end todays post with a poem. I didn't write this, but it's a good one.

Have a great night and think only of the good things in your life.

Thanks for reading.

- NC

The clock of life is wound but once and no man has the power

To tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour.

To lose one's wealth is sad indeed, to lose one's health is more.

To lose one's soul is such a loss that no man can restore.

The present only is our own, so live, love, toil with a will,

Place no faith in tomorrow-- for the clock may then be still.